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Ask Ken! :: 2006 :: August

August 2006

Wet/Dry

Dear Ken!,
Me and my boyfriend have recently had sex for the first time and it didnt turn me on at all. But before we had sex we had dry sex which turned me on loads Is this normal?
And what can i do?


Kay-la xxx

Dear Kay-la xxx,

One should never confuse dry humping with first time intercourse. Here’s some analogies to help clarify:

dry humping
first time intercourse
soccer practice
world cup final
riding a tricycle
riding in the space shuttle
running for school class president
becoming master of space and time

While column "B" contains much cooler activities, they’re also far more harrowing. It’s the kind of stuff that when done– especially the first time– will bring a lump to the throat and cause a person to stop and ponder some of life’s bigger questions. Once the hot, hot monkey lovin’ becomes less foreign and more familiar you’ll find yourself enjoying it far more.

Keep on doin’ it,
Ken!


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B.C. Buddies


Dear Ken!,
i have a question on canada, (1700’s) why is lower part of canada higher then upper part of canada? thank you

just wondering

Dear Just Wondering,
If you’d smoked B.C. bud you would know why the lower part of Canada is higher than the upper part.

Ken!

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If I’m going to be peed upon…


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I guess I’m Larry King or something

Dear Ken!,
I am very troubled that you are talking about these problems in the Middle East and appear to have no idea about the history of this topic. Today I watched as you spoke down to an orthodox Jews and you had no idea about what he was talking about. To be frank it made you look very stupid and it embarrassed me because I stand by CNN. Please read this report so you can have a little background in the subject for the next time you start ranting. Thanks,

article:
http://www.merip.org/palestine-israel_primer/toc-pal-isr-primer.html

Andrew, Minnesota

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