Ask Ken!

Ask Ken! July 14, 2004
The Booty Call & Other Stories

Ask Ken! May 12, 2004
George W. Bush has the blood of 760 Americans on his hands!

Ask Ken! April 19, 2004
If you lived here you’d be in my home by now

Ask Ken! April 5, 2004
The Calculus of Jacking Off & Petting vs. Heavy Petting

Ask Ken! March 29, 2004
(A saddened American shakes his head, knowing not what else to do.)

Ask Ken! March 22, 2004
He Built His Own Coffin & Apply Lotion As Needed

Ask Ken! March 8, 2004
Don’t Fear The Reaper

Ask Ken! February 23, 2004
“Marriage is about love and commitment, not penises and vaginas.”

Ask Ken! February 16, 2004
The Low-Down On The Ken And Barbie Split & Ken!’s Invention Ideas For 2004

Ask Ken! February 9, 2004
A Business Proposition & Stewing In Your Own Juices

Ask Ken! February 2, 2004
America Is In A Tizzy, To Wit: The Tit

Ask Ken! January 26, 2004
Love is gentle, love is kind. Lust is sweaty and sticky.

Ask Ken! January 12, 2004
Ask Ken!: Like A Blind Man In A Room Full Of Deaf People

Ask Ken! January 5, 2004
Suck It, Lick It But Don’t Smack It! & Cheese Balls

Ask Ken! December 29, 2003
Dorky Cock Blockers & The Reliable Twofer

Ask Ken! December 22, 2003
Ken!’s Wishes, Hopes & Dreams For The Future

Ask Ken! December 15, 2003
The Fraction Fetish & Her Pretty Little Pony

Ask Ken! December 8, 2003
This Column Is Not About Sex

Ask Ken! December 1, 2003
Revenge: The Tar Pit Of Emotions & The Woodchuck Simu-torium

Ask Ken! November 17, 2003
Ken!’s List of Boyfriend Gift Hints

Ask Ken! November 10, 2003
Ken!’s Tips For Awkward Introductions

Ask Ken! October 27, 2003
C’mon people, put all those drugs you’re doing to good use!

Ask Ken! October 20, 2003
Stuffing Her Stocking & The Homo Bin At Sam Goody’

Ask Ken! October 13, 2003
The United States, Land of Whiffle Ball Bat Wielding Patriotic Yahoos

Ask Ken! October 6, 2003
Of Salvadore And Swimming & Desire For Fire

Ask Ken! September 29, 2003
Oscular Experience & The Anus of Impossibility

Ask Ken! September 1, 2003
All Good Things Must Come To An End

Ask Ken! August 25, 2003
Love Is Like A Hitman & Washington Drivers

Ask Ken! August 18, 2003
Please don’t hold us accountable for the jackasses running our nation.

Ask Ken! August 4, 2003
Ken! sez, “Share Those Wares With Others Who Cares”

Ask Ken! July 28, 2003
The Age of Consent, The Nerd Nest & Gambling On Bloodshed

Ask Ken! July 21, 2003
Midget Clown Love & Sure-Fire Ways To Lose An Erection

Ask Ken! July 14, 2003
Ask Ken!: Because there are too many questions and not enough answers

Ask Ken! July 7, 2003
Thomas Kinkaid-aholics Anonymous & Westlife vs. A Package Of Mini-Cocktail Wieners

Ask Ken! June 30, 2003
Flaky Foley Work & A Later Day Saints Ad

Ask Ken! June 23, 2003
Ken!’s Zen

Ask Ken! June 16, 2003
Mister 21/20 & Shizzle My Nizzle!

Ask Ken! June 9, 2003
The Cheesecake of Anguish & The First Rule About Cock Rings

Ask Ken! June 2, 2003
Bullwinkle Is Funny & Be An M.C.

Ask Ken! May 26, 2003
Meat Jerking & 7 Dead Castaways

Ask Ken! May 19, 2003
This Week On 45k K3n!, Shylock Fox & American Kulture

Ask Ken! May 12, 2003
Do It Yourself: It’s the American Way!

Ask Ken! May 5, 2003
Knock, Knock, Knockin’ On Your Back Door

Ask Ken! April 14, 2003
“Our initial assessment is that they will all die.”

Ask Ken! April 7, 2003
Assignment: Las Vegas, Baby!

Ask Ken! March 31, 2003
Why is Ken! an “american hating, president bashing treasonist?”

Ask Ken! March 24, 2003
Fighting For Iraqi Freedom While We Lose Our Own

Ask Ken! March 19, 2003
A New Chapter of American Imperialism Begins

Ask Ken! March 17, 2003
Dear Presidents, Prime Ministers and Heads of State

Ask Ken! March 10, 2003
The Reagan Effect & Ken!’s Surefire Pickup Lines For School

Ask Ken! February 24, 2003
That’s Okay, I Wasn’t Using My Civil Rights Anyway.

Ask Ken! February 17, 2003
Ken!’s Name-That-War Game

Ask Ken! February 10, 2003
Wild, Throbbing, Hollywood-style Rambo-ism

Ask Ken! February 3, 2003
Dubya’s Stringin’ Himself Up Some Terrorists!

Ask Ken! January 27, 2003
Fight War, Not Wars! Fight War, Not Wars!

Ask Ken! January 20, 2003
Let’s Hear You Whinny & Thurmond Borrowed Booty

Ask Ken! January 13, 2003
Ken!’s New Year’s Tibits o’ Wisdom & The Sheep Are Kinky

Ask Ken! January 6, 2003
Call now! Operators are standing by.

Ask Ken! December 23, 2002
Best Wishes, Blah blah blah

Ask Ken! December 16, 2002
10% Off Your Cares This Holiday Season At Ask Ken!

Ask Ken! December 2, 2002
Hoary Electrons, Stinky Cheese & Swimming In Tang

Ask Ken! November 25, 2002
Give Me The World Fucking Peace, Motherfuckers!

Ask Ken! November 18, 2002
Cramitupyourassberries & The American Boy-King

Ask Ken! November 11, 2002
Man Licking Sharks & Hollywood Logic

Ask Ken! October 21, 2002
Dating A Fetus & A Balance Of Sweet And Smut

Ask Ken! October 14, 2002
Crackers & Fingering Her “C” Key
Ask Ken! September 23, 2002
Ask Ken!, Your Strings-Free Advice Booty Call

Ask Ken! September 16, 2002
Politics, Penises & Poon-Tang

Ask Ken! September 9, 2002
I Love Monosyllabic, War Mongering Simpletons From Texas

Ask Ken! September 2, 2002
Attack Of The Blood Thirsty West Nile-infected Child Abducting Sharks!

Ask Ken! August 26, 2002
Naked, Soapy Girls & America: A Nation of Fat Fucks

Ask Ken! August 12, 2002
Leave Lumpy For Dumpy, The Crow Speaks & The Pondering Pool

Ask Ken! August 5, 2002
Bare Ass Spanking, The Quakers Have Oats & Shroomin

Ask Ken! July 22, 2002
How Long Is A Blueberry?

Ask Ken! July 15, 2002
Summer Heat, Cool (re)Treats & Piss Shivers

Ask Ken! July 8, 2002
The Rubber Business & Ken’s Losing Your Virginity Do’s & Don’ts

Ask Ken! July 1, 2002
Wanted: Foot Soldiers Of Freak

Ask Ken! June 24, 2002
Sweet Flesh & Blushing Cherries

Ask Ken! June 10, 2002
A Backstreet*NSyncBoys Concert & Bill’s Oral Legacy

Ask Ken! June 3, 2002
Enron Fakes It, Demonic Possession & Granny’s Panties

Ask Ken! May 20, 2002
Dance For Her Pleasure Little Monkey! Dance! Dance!!! & That’s Gold, Man, Gold!

Ask Ken! May 13, 2002
Shocking Alien Secrets Revealed!, Kool-Aid Dipping & Excrement of Henry Rollins

Ask Ken! May 6, 2002
By Using This Site You Agree To Its Terms

Ask Ken! April 29, 2002
High-Waisted Old Man Boxers & The All American Buttfuck

Ask Ken! April 22, 2002
Fuck The Good Fuck, Pornographic Methodology & Stickybud

Ask Ken! April 15, 2002
Understanding, Fizzucking Shizzit & Damn Virginia Liberals

Ask Ken! April 8, 2002
Scratch-And-Sniff Panties, The Truth About God & Smoke The Peace Pipe

Ask Ken! April 1, 2002
A Breakthrough In Alien Technology, The Golden Gallon & Ken!’s Flower Guide

Ask Ken! March 25, 2002
Ken! Calls Security, “Who Wants To Get A Whole Lotta Pussy?” & Menage A Barbie

Ask Ken! March 18, 2002
Southern Belle Ken!, P.R. Policy & How Many Licks…?

Ask Ken! March 11, 2002
I’ve Got Five Bucks That Says Duyba Starts World War 3 & The Teat of Life

Ask Ken! March 4, 2002
In Through His Dog’s Out Door, Skool Krysis & An Albino Love Child

Ask Ken! February 25, 2002
Space Monkeys, Surly Cyborgs & Screwing The Pooch

Ask Ken! February 18, 2002
Gas Guzzling Texas Land Yachts & Blood Thirsty, Money Grubbing War Mongers

Ask Ken! February 11, 2002
Your One Stop Shop For Blind Patriotism, Jingoistic Platitudes And Flag Waving

Ask Ken! January 28, 2002
Alert The Authorities, It’s Time To Play “Guess Ken!’s Surgery!”

Ask Ken! January 21, 2002
How You Can Protect Yourself From Volcanoes & The Future Is Killer Robots

Ask Ken! January 14, 2002
Heed The Inertia! & The Satanic Pretzel

Ask Ken! December 10, 2001
George Bush The OxyMoron & Giving The Handy, Man

Ask Ken! December 3, 2001
Red, White And Bullshit & The Insecure “i”

Ask Ken! November 26, 2001
They Don’t Hate Us, They Hate Our Media

Ask Ken! November 19, 2001
While Afghans Die The Free World Goes Shopping

Ask Ken! November 12, 2001
Never Give An Inch

Ask Ken! November 5, 2001
Of Dewey Folds, Bad Boys And Busted Up Camaros

Ask Ken! October 29, 2001
Dirty Sluts, Proletariat Playwrights & Morning Wood

Ask Ken! October 22, 2001
Return To Your Regularly Schedule Lives & Interstate 3.14159

Ask Ken! October 15, 2001
Anthrax free, guaranteed!

Ask Ken! October 8, 2001
Ministry of Truth, Compulsory Consumerism & Commitment-Free Clit

Ask Ken! October 1, 2001
WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

Ask Ken! September 24, 2001
Infinite Vengence, starring George Dubya and Colin Powell

Ask Ken! September 17, 2001

Ask Ken! September 10, 2001:
Ask Ken!, Like A Slap In America’s Sac

Ask Ken! September 4, 2001:
Ken! Lays Off Metaphors, Manual Labor & Coming In Fruit Flavors

Ask Ken! August 27, 2001:
America, Home of the Shamed & The Economy of Adultery

Ask Ken! August 7, 2001:
Drilling Mother Nature’s Back Side & Indulge Your Carnal Lusts

Ask Ken! July 31, 2001:
Ken! ’s Complete List Of Every Web Site That Has Ever Existed

Ask Ken! July 24, 2001:
Ken! Sucks!, Join The Club & Dating Tips In Fragment Sentences, Yum!

Ask Ken! July 10, 2001:
150 Years Of Computing Experience, Bi-F Curious & Lick, Tongue And Munch

Ask Ken! July 3, 2001:
Blood-Thirsty Clowns, Love Your Vagina & The King of Crank

Ask Ken! June 18, 2001:
The Good Old Fashioned, If Not Now, When? & The Most Frequently Broken Commandment

Ask Ken! June 11, 2001:
No advertisements. No hidden agendas. No charges or fees. We’re free baby, free as we’ve ever been!

Ask Ken! June 5, 2001:
How To Make An Impression At A Job Interview & More Buffoonery!

Ask Ken! May 28, 2001:
Ask Ken!, The After School Special Written By Glue Sniffing Monkeys

Ask Ken! May 21, 2001:
Adjective Inflation, Roman hands And Russian fingers & John Thomas’ Afternoon Romp

Ask Ken! May 14, 2001:
Demeaning Menial Job, Women Waving Their Peach Fuzz & Set That Brain Of Yours On Fire!

Ask Ken! May 7, 2001:
It’ll Be A Hot Time In The Corral Tonight!, The Overlords of Redmond & Equilibrium

Ask Ken! April 30, 2001:
A Beefy Magic Wand, Getting All Sodom And Gomorrah With Each Other & A Linux Nerd On Mushrooms

Ask Ken! April 23, 2001:
An Easter Tail, A Haze of Pot Smoke, & Make Your Jimmy Thicker

Ask Ken! April 9, 2001:
It Would Make Strom Thurmond Wither, Sexually Induced Paralysis & Boy Bands Freakin’ It Nasty

Ask Ken! April 2, 2001:
It’s A Yeast Infection Cure And A Tasty Snack! & Welcome Back To The 80’s

Ask Ken! March 26, 2001:
Crazy Penal Tomfoolery & Beating Around The Chianti-And-Fava-Beans Bush

Ask Ken! March 19, 2001:
The Internet Has Gone Out Of Business, That’s Why You’re Not Reading This.

Ask Ken! March 12, 2001:
Find Out What Is The Wild Variety That Is The Spice Of Life

Ask Ken! March 5, 2001:
The Big Payback, The Spiritual Growth Index & Desire

Ask Ken! February 26, 2001:
Ken!’s Oral Nation, Irregular Punctuation & The Tale of the Ugly Mug Catcher

Ask Ken! February 19, 2001:
Slots, Sex, Soiled Sheets, Sex & Severing Relationships

Ask Ken! February 12, 2001:
Bookmark That You Redmond Brainiacs! & Underwear Older Than Jesus

Ask Ken! February 5, 2001:
The Maturity Fairy, Cock Talk & No Room At The Inn Or In The Barn

Ask Ken! January 22, 2001:
“It Leaves Relationships Sparkling Clean!” & Maximizing (Social) Exposure

Ask Ken! January 15, 2001:
Welcome To Temptation Column!

Ask Ken! January 9, 2001:
Questions For God, You Are What You Say & Cinderella’s Pant Suit

Ask Ken! January 3, 2001:
Starting The Millennium Off With A Bang

Ask Ken! December 26, 2000:
Love Affair With Lady Liberty, Burgermeister Meisterburger & The Fire Within Rusty Loins

Ask Ken! December 18, 2000:
Gyrating Santa’s, Driven To Autoerotic Freny, & Wrap Your Meat

Ask Ken! December 11, 2000:
II Didn’t Raise No Narc & Mr. Light Where The Light Don’t Shine

Ask Ken! December 4, 2000:
Ken! Flushes His Stash, Shaved Feline Action & The Myth Disintegration Ray

Ask Ken! November 27, 2000:
Holiday Gift Guide For The Guy With Everything & Indecision 2000

Ask Ken! November 20, 2000:
IPaid Fifteen Dollars And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt With Some Corporate Logo On It

Ask Ken! November 13, 2000:
The Mental Jury Is Out, Monkey Torture & Wedding Night Nookie

Ask Ken! November 8, 2000:
Electoral U., The ! Makes All The Difference & Welcome To The Machine

Ask Ken! October 30, 2000:
The Lust-Orgy Of Greed & Land Of The Fucking Free, My Ass

Ask Ken! October 24, 2000:
Gills And Hogsheads And Arse Shaggings, Oh My!

Ask Ken! October 16, 2000:
Al & George Make Me Want To Ralph, Good Head 101, & Tom Green Nude

Ask Ken! October 9, 2000:
Like Poo In A Monkey House, Exclamational Nomenclature & Horny Arabs

Ask Ken! October 2, 2000:
Barely Legal Virgins, Flag-Waiving Simpletons & Whores In Literature

Ask Ken! September 25, 2000:
Land Of The Lost, Mass Of Plebes & Pick Up Lines For The Smooth Operator

Ask Ken! September 18, 2000:
Cage Bro’s Beast, The Chaff Of Fear & Beneath The Surface Of Our Sexual Waters

Ask Ken! September 12, 2000:
Have You Seen A Shorn Testicle?, Castles Made Of Sand, & Semen Lite!

Ask Ken! September 4, 2000:
Baseball, Moral Outrage & How Oral Sex Can Raise Your Science Grade

Ask Ken! August 28, 2000:
We Sell Out So You Won’t Have To

Ask Ken! August 21, 2000:
What I Did During My Summer Vacation

Ask Ken! July 31, 2000:
An Anonymous Deposit of Man-Goo, Parental-Applied Ass Warming & The Two Minute Hate

Ask Ken! July 24, 2000:
IIt’s Not Nice To Fool With Mother Nature

Ask Ken! July 17, 2000:
A Nude With A View, Enter The Safe Zone & Jesus’ Linux Box

Ask Ken! July 10, 2000:
Lights Out You Screws!, C-Cup Shackles & More ‘Tang

Ask Ken! July 3, 2000:
A Freshly Derailed Circus Train, Trench Warfare & The Jealous God

Ask Ken! June 26, 2000:
Myopic America, Dance The Monkey Dance & Ken! Casts Some Hex

Ask Ken! June 19, 2000:
Could I Use Your Euphemism? & Hire That Flatulent Mule!

Ask Ken! June 12, 2000:
Eating Our Young Dot Com & Squeezing Fresh Booty Juice

Ask Ken! June 5, 2000:
Demand A Little Tongue, Frothing Over Fuck Words & Punishing The Rude Girl

Ask Ken! May 27, 1997:
The “Best” Of Ask Ken! (e.g. a rerun)

Ask Ken! May 22, 2000:
Nightly Stroke-A-Thon, Alyssa Milano’s Delicate Pink Petals, & The Devil *N Sync

Ask Ken! May 15, 2000:
Drunk Daddy, Phalus-centric Thinking & I Am A Star

Ask Ken! May 8, 2000:
Bottom-Line Tinted Glasses, The Grand Cosmic Payback Plan & Celibacy

Ask Ken! May Day, 2000:
A Pierced Seattle Coffee Jockey & Profit: The Deity For The New Millennium

Ask Ken! April 24, 2000:
John F. Kennedy’s Cold War Era Dog & Pony Show & The Dreaded Rear Admiral

Ask Ken! April 17, 2000:
This Space Intentionally Left Blank & Suck On That, Pat Robertson

Ask Ken! April 10, 2000:
Floccinaucinihilipilification & You

Ask Ken! April 3, 2000:
The Frog Princess, Wax On, & American History: Buck-Ass Naked Style

Ask Ken! March 20, 2000:
$3-A-Gallon And Rising, Three-Way Slap And Tickle & Those Super Friends and Their Hall of Justice

Ask Ken! March 13, 2000:
Escort Excursions, Sesame Street-style Cooperation & Sometimes A Thrice-removed Notion

Ask Ken! March 6, 2000:
Now! Extra Strength!, Culture Shock 2000 & “I’ve Been A Naughty Girl.”

Ask Ken! February 28, 2000:
Down The Manhole, Serve And Protect, Baby! & Conversation: The Other Oral Sex

Ask Ken! February 21, 2000:
Menage A What?, Our Zoos Of Concrete And Steel & Microsoft’s Golden Locks

Ask Ken! February 14, 2000:
Finger Stickin’ Good, Castles Made Of Sand…, & Novelty Junkies

Ask Ken! February 7, 2000:
Heated Bouts Of One Hand Typing, A Wheat-Based Jesus Apparition & Stiff Members

Ask Ken! January 31, 2000:
Hard To Swallow, She’s The Drama Queen, & Get Jimmy A New Hat

Ask Ken! January 24, 2000:
She’s Web Sex Crazy, Academic Adultery & Taking It To The Rim

Ask Ken! January 17, 2000:
Sizzling Bacon On The Side, Software The Hard Way & A Drunken Office Party Story

Ask Ken! January 10, 2000:
“Jilted lovers get revenge… and jail time. Today on Springer.”

Ask Ken! January 3, 2000:
Gloom, Despair and Agony: Ken!’s Special Post-Holiday Depression Edition

Ask Ken! December 27, 1999:
Raptures Of The Flesh, Fiery Nookie & That “He Said, She Said” Crap

Ask Ken! December 20, 1999:
Gun-toting Inbred Slackjaws, Universe University & Her Backdoor Man

Ask Ken! December 13, 1999:
Love, Cheating And Barbie, That Cold-Hearted Bitch!

Ask Ken! December 6, 1999:
Mariah? I Don’t Carey, Happiness Is Warm Gun Control & Commoditize This!

Ask Ken! November 29, 1999:
I Am A Human, Not A Consumer!, No Globalization Without Representation!

Ask Ken! November 22, 1999:
Exorcising The Cubicle Of Doom, Plunging Necklines & God’s Got Mail

Ask Ken! November 15, 1999:
That @#*% -GRY Thing, The Ask Ken! IPO, & Keeping It Legal, Barely

Ask Ken! October 25, 1999:
The Naked Truth & Feel My Force, Luke

Ask Ken! October 18, 1999:
A Funky Clusterfuck Of Rainbow Colors & Brittney Spears + Camera - Clothing = Kiddie Porn

Ask Ken! October 11, 1999:
Only 80 Shopping Days Until The End Of The World, Now That’s Self Service & Megalo-Christ Commeth

Ask Ken! October 4, 1999:
Those Odd Nurses Hats, Penetrating Tight Tails & Excuse Me While I Kiss The Sky

Ask Ken! September 27, 1999:
Tonight On Fox: A Suck, A Fuck & A Threesome

Ask Ken! September 20, 1999:
Five Years Of Ken!, He’s In His Prime, & Yes, We Have No Brittany Spears Nude

Ask Ken! September 13, 1999:
Carnal Thrusting, Whacking It For Science, & Your Angry, Vengeful God

Ask Ken! September 6, 1999:
My Morals Made Me Do It & Pro Wrestling: A Twisted Display Of Masochistic Homoeroticism

Ask Ken! August 30, 1999:
When You Care Enough To Give… Cash, When Bad Things Happen To Good People, & Feminine Goods And Services

Ask Ken! August 23, 1999:
The Fortune-Telling Bearded Swine of Borneo, Plucking An August Cherry

Ask Ken! August 16, 1999:
Raised By Wolves, Equal Orgasms For Equal Work! & The Dangers Of Swallowing Seamen

Ask Ken! August 9, 1999:
You Gotta Know When To Fold ‘Em, Scratching For Love & These Legs Aren’t Open 24 Hours

Ask Ken! July 19, 1999:
We’ll Have A Gay Ol’ Time, Exploiting Young Boys, & Marriage: Before And After

Ask Ken! July 12, 1999:
Sodomizing ‘N Sync, Yo Quero The Blair Witch, Check Out His Big Election!

Ask Ken! July 5, 1999:
Ken!: Your Favorite Whipping Boy, Tales Of The Cyberwhore & Freedom: A Limited Time Offer?

Ask Ken! June 28, 1999:
Lady Cosmos Lifts Her Skirt, Ken! For Anti-Christ, & Secrets of Electronic Pheromones Revealed

Ask Ken! June 21, 1999:
The Big Payback!, Oh, No, There Goes Tokyo! & Brittany Spears Nude

Ask Ken! June 14, 1999:
Love And Lust: The Trial Size & God Grows Cannabis

Ask Ken! June 7, 1999:
The B Cup: Giver Of Life, 100% Fat Free! & Popsicles: America’s Secret Killer

Ask Ken! May 31, 1999:
Corporate Jedi Mind Tricks, A Tree Is A Tree, Or Is It? & Going For “O”

Ask Ken! May 24, 1999:
The Nobel Prize For Relationships, It’s The Questions, Stupid & The Raging Bulls of Pamplona

Ask Ken! May 17, 1999:
Commentary By Anthony, Turkish Surprise & First Bank of Serfdom

Ask Ken! May 10, 1999:
Carl’s Bad Cavern, The High School Witch Hunt & FuckTV

Ask Ken! May 3, 1999:
Hammers Don’t Pound Nails, People Do & Blame It On Internet Porn (Again)

Ask Ken! April 26, 1999:
You Wanna Start Something? & I’m In A Chatroom To Nowhere, She’s Got Elmo Eyes

Ask Ken! April 19, 1999:
Why Does Uncle Larry Smell Like Vaseline? & Made Entirely By White Cracker Hands

Ask Ken! April 12, 1999:
Ken!’s Guide To 21st Century Verbiage & www.18-year-old-shriveled-girls.com

Ask Ken! April 5, 1999:
Bunny Fueled Sugar Frenzy, Mayonnaise Showers & Cool, Clear Water (Water)

Ask Ken! March 29, 1999:
I’ll Take Absurdist German Cinema For 200 & Ken! Orders Air Strikes

Ask Ken! March 22, 1999:
Thought Crimes And Misdemeanors, D**th To The F**king Ast*r*sks! & Exercise For Evolution’s Sake

Ask Ken! March 15, 1999:
Hitting Below The Beltway, Semen Con Carne & Eat Tide! We’ll Make More

Ask Ken! March 1, 1999:
All They Want To Do Is BANG HER!, & Life: The Limited Time Offer

Ask Ken! February 22, 1999:
Calling All Cars It’s A Sabotage, +3 Ring of Clarity, & School’s Out For Summer

Ask Ken! February 15, 1999:
Twenty-two Minutes Of Hot Women’s Prison Action & Eating Human Flesh

Ask Ken! February 8, 1999:
What Is The Sexual Frequency, Ken!? & Love! Huh! What Is It Good For?

Ask Ken! February 1, 1999:
Radical Philosophers Seize Control, I’m Okay, Y2K, And She Loves Sex!

Ask Ken! January 25, 1999:
Tips For A Cheap Date & The Boys With The Backwards Caps

Ask Ken! January 18, 1999:
He Is Blind But Sees All, Bob Dole With D-Cup Breasts & Pee!

Ask Ken! January 11, 1999:
The Feet Not Gnawed, Menage A Trois and I Like To Watch

Ask Ken! January 4, 1999:
Welcome To The 21st Century, Changing Channels, and Groin Pulls

Ask Ken! December 28, 1998:
WWJD, Meeting Men, Eat Live Turkey!

Ask Ken! December 21, 1998:
Holiday Blues, Red And Greens, Wife Beaters For Jesus, and A Partridge In A Pear Tree

Ask Ken! December 14, 1998:
Mental Abuse Madison Avenue Style and Those Wacky Scientologists

Ask Ken! December 7, 1998:
Let Her Watch, The Gift For The Man Who Has Everything, The Crow And The Clairvoyant

Ask Ken! November 30, 1998:
Holiday Dinner Etiquette, Government Mind Control Rays, The Talking Sports Car Hour

Ask Ken! November 23, 1998:
A Demand For Moral Indignation, The Woods Of Disillusionment & Ken! On X-Mas

Ask Ken! November 16, 1998:
That’s My Name, Don’t Wear It Out and All I Know Is What I Unlearned In College

Ask Ken! November 9, 1998:
Love Is A Blood Sport, Should It Be Banned? Tonight on Geraldo….

Ask Ken! November 2, 1998:
Flummoxed, molly coddled and skint.

Ask Ken! October 26, 1998:
Obsession Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery and Ken! Speaks On Meat

Ask Ken! October 19, 1998:
Porn in East UAE, Becoming A (Porn) Actor and Will She Love Me Forever?

Ask Ken! October 12, 1998:
Ask The Man To Marry You Already! and The Multiple Personalities of Ken!

Ask Ken! October 5, 1998:
Forgiveness and Shit For Sale

Ask Ken! September 28, 1998:
The Polite Murderer, The Passion vs Practicality No Holds Barred Steel Cage Grudge Match

Ask Ken! September 21, 1998:
The Dow Jones Relationship Index, Tongueless In Seattle and The Pit of Despair

Ask Ken! September 14, 1998:
I Have Sinned, Making Hubby Horny and other top 40 hits

Ask Ken! September 7, 1998:
Workers of the world unite!

Ask Ken! August 31, 1998:
Looking, blushing and random email from clueless readers

Ask Ken! August 24, 1998:
“The thousand years are over!”

Ask Ken! August 17, 1998:
The child named Gatorade, Pampering a man and running with the dogs… literally.

Ask Ken! August 10, 1998:
Angry Canadians, bizarre love triangle and clear-cutting the pleasure path

Ask Ken! August 3, 1998:
Dirty doctors, our inner Jesse Helms, making momma listen