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Dear Readers,
You are witness to a historical event, my good friend. Admittedly it's just a chapter in Ask Ken! history, but it's history nonetheless. In the first time in history, Ask Ken! comes to you from the road, specifically Las Vegas, baby. Sure, it doesn't seem the proper sort of time to revel in the decadence of Sin City but it's all about business, baby! It's all about the business.
"What business?", you ask. I'm steeping myself in the world and culture of the street promoters, those venerable young men and women who are more than eager to share their ads for strippers and whatnot whilst white bread America passes by with their three foot novelty glasses full of strawberry daqueris. I'm getting the inside scoop: which Spanish station to listen to on your headphones, what to say to passersby and most importatly, how to make those flicking sounds with the newspapers and cards bearing the images of those barely legal and kinky young women who can make it to any hotel room in Vegas in twenty minutes.
Since I'm studying this week I believe it's only fair you do the same. Here's two assignments:
1. If you haven't seen it, watch Michael Moore's Bowling For Columbine. If you have seen it, see it again.
2. Read the well-reasoned criticism of Ask Ken! below and discuss.
You'll be quizzed later.
Ken!
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I really enjoy your site/column. I think you dispense some excellent advice and on the most part, agree with many of things of things you say. However, I had to respond to your comment in the March 24, 2003 ("Fighting For Iraqi Freedom While We Lose Our Own") edition and ask you to please lower your hookah for a moment. You stated:
"My hope is that some day the United States, both as a government and a people, will grow the fuck up and attempt to lead by setting positive examples rather than proving to the world that the most powerful nation in the world cannot solve its problems without slaughter and bloodshed. It's time this nation leads by (good) example and rise above war, even when it comes to dealing with the most despicable of former allies. Otherwise we're just the biggest bully on the block and no better than any of them."
Oh, I fail to see how this will ever come to fruition. We're not above self-interest. We never will be. You know, the only time greedy, over-indulgent, hypocritical and self-centered pricks such as ourselves ever get around to demonstrating concern is when it so happens that the threat of INCONVENIENCE, NOT TERRORISM, shows up on the scanner. We sit there, and ask ourselves: "How will this interfere with ME, MY LIFE AND MY LIFESTYLE?" We are so myopic, we can't possibly frame our contribution to so much bullshit via our consumer behaviour, personal interactions, etc. I have had the pleasure of hearing some fuckwit say: "Well, I hope this doesn't escalate and spread to Turkey. I have travel plans, you know? (Insert some additional crap about how much they respect and love foreign cultures here)" Our nations can't even lead us, nor demonstrate just and balanced leadership. How can we change that? By going out and actively change our governments. Do we do that? !
No. Instead we engage in narcissitic (brought to you by Dr. Phil and Oprah) self-love, self-correction and self-congratulatory masturbation at every turn. It's pretty sad when the majority of us from bloated nations consider a limp dick, a angst-filled teen or a tough bowel movement a hard knock. Every discussion I have engaged with pseudo-intellectual gasbags revolve around how they can shout you down into submission and not engage community discussion. Why? Because those motherfuckers have already calculated how INCONVENIENCED they would be in if they BELIEVED in half the shit they spew. Plus, they're bullies. And bullying is what we're about. You can't take that out of the people when it is the root of our success and state of power.
Remember, boys and girls...
It's all about:
*what we want
*when we want it,
*how we go about it,
*where we go for it,
*who we stick it to for it.
Note, there is never really a "why".
On another tangent...
And do you know what scares and fucking irritates me to no end? It's when the American gov't (not so much the people, but I have heard some of your fellow compatriots utter the same rhetorical bullshit) wanks on about being the "WORLD'S POLICE". What? Are you people fucking kidding me? You guys don't even have a grip on your own domestic police, and you want to police the rest of the planet? Good God, go fuck yourselves!
One last note, not everything is about oil. Try territorial expansion and lockdown. This war has more players involved than is commonly perceived. (I know, no DUH! I am just getting sick of hearing it falling out every Joe Fuckstick's mouth)
Thank you in advance for indulging my greedy, bandwidth stealing ass.
ME!
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