August 5, 2002 Bare Ass Spanking, The Quakers Have Oats & Shroomin

Dear Ken!, I have a 9 year old son named Cody and a 7 year old daughter named Ashley. Their father and i punish them when thay misbehave with a spanking at home and in public. thay have been playing naked to beat the summer heat and swimmimg in our pool naked also. Both of our children love being naked, and that is fine with their father and I. Both Cody and Ashley are getting more spankings on their bare bums because thay are misbehaving more since thay have been out of school. Is it safe for our children to be naked and what about the spankings? We only use our hand when spanking Cody and Ashley,s small bums.(3 to 5 spanks per spanking. Samantha

Dear Samantha, It's only the oppressed adults that make nudity shameful and naughty. On the other hand if it wasn't such a taboo nudity wouldn't be anywhere near as stimulating. You're parents-- you have the right to raise your kids how you see fit. At least until you break some kind of law. So far child nudity, spankings and bare ass spankings are not illegal unless you're an adult and you pay someone for a bare ass spanking. Then that might be asking for trouble. Ken!

Dear Ken!, I feel stupid asking but what the heck. Here goes, my boyfriend who is living with me is jealous of my two adult sons. One son is over-weight, doesn't live with me but comes home once every 1-4 months. He is 28 years old. One stays with me at this time. He's been here for almost a year. He is 30 years old. I was living all by myself before then. My home got brokern into and alot of electronic stuff was stolen. I asked my son to move in with me. I was paranoid and frightened. I was devastated. My boyfriend lived in another town doing his own thing at that time. Said that he didn't have his drivers license and had to take the work bus that is available at that city & isn't available at my city. Anyhow, he eventually left his job due to stress from his employer who made him go for alcohol treatment. He went but came back out & is currently drinking more. I was drinking with him but had quit for over a year now. I told him flat out that I wasn't going to go to any bar to pick him up & that he has to find his own way home, etc. This weekend, there was a big Merritt Moutain Music Festival happening for 5 days. There was alot of dringking partying going on. There was an estimated 140,000 people who came to this big Country & Western Festival. Alan Jackson was main headliner for Saturday, July 20 evening. Heard he was real good. Didn't go, couldn't afford it. Anyhow, everytime he wants his own way, tends to go out drinking and such. I'm tired of this, he thinks that my sons shouldn't come home or be here. I'm all alone otherwise. K

Dear K, And why do you continue to see this guy? Kick him the fuck out of the house and make some freekin' friends. Ken!

Dear Ken!, I will start by warning you that I have a heavy question for you. I am very lost and confused and need some direction. I have survived thus far, somehow, by means of which have not been at all religious, nor have I had any way of contact with any sort of religion at all. I believe that this path, of my upbringing, has been unfruitful and unsatisfying to me and I wish to seek some sort of guidance today. I believe this fact to be one of the main reasons (as there are more than one, and I must convey that I have been abused as a child in more than one way) for my unhappiness and unrest thus far in my life. I wish to change this pattern and seek some type of pathway in which I may proceed in order to find happiness and strength to carry on, without the painful burdens of my past. I have no idea where to look for guidance or how to seek any sort of pathway to contentment in any way. Please help me and guide me toward this beautiful light and pastoral future that I (miraculously) do feel that must exist out there somewhere. I would be most grateful and very honored. I apologize for my question, especially if this is the wrong avenue to go about asking. Thank you so much. Lost Child

Dear Lost Child, Most religions have some kind of advantage: Lutherans have great potlucks, some Christian churches have great gospel choirs, the Quakers have oats. It really all depends on what you're after. You seem to be after peace, which is certainly more than can be said for certain presidents. My understanding from browsing the books at the local self-improvement bookstore is that peace is within. Ken!

Dear Ken!, Ive got this close friend who recently started taking mushrooms on a regular basis. ive heard of how bad ectacy is for you, but ive heard little about shooms. that brings me to my first question of how bad for you are they? also can you tell me, chemically speaking, what they do to a person? thanks for your help Trippin

Dear Trippin, Shrill "War On Drugs" rhetoric would simply discount the possibility of any potential benefits of any sort of psychedelic, painting the matter a drab (and boring) black and white. But you won't get that here. The establishment has a vested interest in their reality. If too many people saw things so differently they'd have no other option than to rage against their machine. But rather than have some amateur day tripper tell you about the science behind the trip, let me defer to a rock solid advice columnist in her own right, Alice: Psilocybin mushrooms [a.k.a., 'shrooms, "Magic" Mushrooms] are a hallucinogen that are either eaten in their dried mushroom form or consumed as a white powder. The term "hallucinogen" means that taking this drug causes the user to experience an altered s ense of reality. This experience is usually referred to as "tripping." Used in smaller amounts, mushrooms can produce a feeling of relaxation and visual distortions. For example, many users experience a sensation of being detached from their body and o bserving themselves, see brilliant arrangements of color and light, or see fantastical images before them. In larger doses, users may experience more physical sensations, such as lightheadedness; numbness of the tongue, lips, and mouth; shivering or swea ting; nausea; and, anxiety. Use of this drug can also change one's perception of time, making minutes seem like hours. Psilocybin mushrooms do not generally cause dangerous physical reactions, nor is addiction or physical dependence likely. However, individual users' experiences vary widely, based on a number of factors. A person's expectations, previous drug experience s, mood, the amount of the drug consumed, and the setting may all play a part in what kind of effects the drug produces. In addition, mixing the use of Mushrooms with another drug, such as Marijuana, may produce unpredictable results. Hallucinations can range from the intriguing and pleasurable to the frightening, anxiety producing, and downright scary. Sometimes, if the experience is a scary one, it can be physically and emotionally uncomfortable, and the memory may stay with the user for a long time. Flashbacks of trips are also common among frequent users of the drug. In general, a trip begins with some feelings of nausea, jitteriness, and a mild increase in blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing. For the most part, these physical symptoms are not too severe. However, if a user experiences anxiety or fear during a trip, the body's reactions to these feelings may be difficult to endure. For this reason, it's important to consider where and with whom one might try this drug. When experimenting with any drug, it is essential to be in a safe environment with people you trust, preferably some who are not using any alcohol or other drugs. Also, keep in mind that it is very difficult to identify the Psilocybin variety of mushroom, both in the wild and in its dried form. There are other similar-looking mushrooms which cause hallucinations but which are much more dangerous and can even kill you. You can find more of this at Go Ask Alice <http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu>. Ken!

Dear Ken!, I dont know if you can help me here. But If I have been held back in school this year I will be a freshman in high school suspose to go into the 10th,(seconded time I failed) I miss too many days cause I need to take care of my dad he has alzhiemiers diesease. The Max days we can miss is 10 a semester I missed 20 a semester. My grades are passing though I wanted to complete school but as a ninth grader again, I dont think I can handle that. This is the second time ive been held back. I think im going to drop out of school and get my g.e.d. should I? I dont think I can deal with being a fresman agian. Im susposed to be in 11th grade now. So should I just drop out? Josh

Dear Josh, Do you want to know why the school even cares how many days you miss? In most states the schools receive a certain amount of money per student given that student spends a certain amount of time in class. You're not showing up enough so they're not getting paid! Anyone who can miss that much class and still get passing grades has to have some kind of brain in their noggin. School's not working for you so get your G.E.D. But I tell you, if you quit school and blow off your G.E.D. you're short changing yourself. Ken!

Dear Ken!, I met this guy who is really cute, doesnt really have any idea about sex except from what he has seen on porn movies so as you can imagine I havent climaxed EVER!!! I have however, faked it more than once just to get over it. I have had some great lovers in the past, so know what I am missing. However, now the most terrible thing has happened. He has told me that he loves me and wants to marry me. I wouldnt marry him if he were the last man on earth and I was planning to get rid of him. I know I might sound a bitch ken, but come on, seriously, could you spend the rest of your life with someone who couldnt give you great sex??? Great sex first, relationship after. By the way, I've been reading your column for years and found it after searching for "sex and drugs and rock and roll" for an essay. :) Hopefuly hunting an answer

Dear Hopeful, How the fuck is someone supposed to become a great lover if they aren't taught the ropes (potentially literally) by someone more experienced? All the great trades are passed on in such a manner. If he has the willingness to learn then take that cute man into your hands and train him to be your nasty fuck monkey. You won't only be doing this for the two of you but every other person he sleeps with down the road. Skillful sex is the gift that keeps on giving! Ken!

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