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Dear Ken!
Lately I have been searching the internet for odd phrases and poetry that I learned from my parents. Such has included your hen and a half question, which my father would quote. (he had one fellow at work actually try to figure it out..) A variation of this, instead of the monkey, he would ask, "how long would it take a rooster, sitting on a brass doorknob to hatch out a hardware store?" This, along with my mother's poem, "the monkey married the baboon's sister" were quite a sorce of entertainment for me. I wonder why people seem to find more interest in their parents after they are gone? My father being deceased and my mother being "gone" with altzheimer's. Now, their words and advice seem so precious to me! Even their occational silliness. Why do you think this is?
The weirdo artist, sculptor and hookbill keeper in Missouri
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Dear Ken!,
I married when I was 21. My former boyfriend was very good looking, and women would swarm to him when we walked into a room. Needless to say he was unfaithful to me, and I decided to look for a man who was less than average looking and a nice guy. Sorry, but I wasn't going through the "competition from other women" thing again. I found the guy that met every check mark on my list, but I wasn't "in love" with him. During these 20 years of an o.k. marriage I always missed that spark of being in love. I see other couples walking down the street holding hands and kissing. I'm becoming more and more unhappy with my current situation. Am I being unrealisic? Don't all marriages become boring, without passion after so many years anyway? Am I living in a fantasy wishing I could find someone who "lights my fire?"
Just Wondering
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Hallo Ken,
I have a problem, no different from anybody else's but well, hurts like heck. I need to get a guy out of my mind, and the harder I try the worse it gets.
This guy involved himself in my life about 2 years ago, ostensibly separated (definitely separated at the time according to him). We had a wonderful time for three months. He lives about 300 km away from me and we both work on contract in the Middle East in two different countries. Then his wife had to return temporarily as she needed to be outside her home country to get her papers processed to return (yarn maybe?) And then the moment she returned, it was all the way downhill but in slow-a-motion with lots and lots of lies (after the fact) and being evasive; i.e. he had just started a massive brand-new drilling project, and was too busy and swamped to deal with sorting out details with her, kept on phoning me about 3/4 days a week, then suggested a holiday, and that never happened, also in slow-a-motion. In between seeing me every three months or so, let me believe that she just couldn't get the hint to go, and even when I offered "to go", "wanted me to stay". Then in last Dec it changed to it's difficult to talk to her, and then finally in March of this year, "not sure I can do it" (wow!). And then in April of this year, when I really confronted him head-on, he gave me up and "let me go!", in an e-mail no less (fancy being fired in an e-mail!)! Parting words from him to me: "remember you ARE a GOOD person"! Well after wasting my precious time and feeling really such a fool after his lying and just simply being a guy without balls, feel everything but a GOOD person.
Anyway Ken, I just can't let go and am in contact by e-mail "in replies" and with long silences in between until he writes again, which he always does at the point when I'm so mad that I want to write him off (his timing is amazing!). Ironically, just when I'm ready to let go every time, there he is again, i.e. phones, and then a long silence again. I.e. he phoned last Thursday, "hinting" on seeing me, and then total silence (regretted it maybe?) for more than a week, and right now well, am just very angry for being so imperfect and weak and knowing better and "being his victim". He got hold of me when I was feeling good and happy and enjoying myself and I was defenseless, and now I&Mac226;m just very mad and wanting to hurt him and be vengeful. Disturbed my peace!
I've read a lot of your replies, including the one about the postman visiting twice i.e. the Universe having its way of sorting out people, and if we would try and do it on behalf of the Universe, the Universe would have to sort us out as well. So decided to take that advice, as it's the "wisest", BUT how on earth do I get this person out of my mind, i.e. how does one "walk away"! Wow Ken, if you can give me advice, that would be awesome!
Jill
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