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Dear Dancer,
It's strange, really. Put a dancer in six inch or seven inch heels and my cock is as substantive as Bush's No Child Left Behind initiative but put her in six and a half inch heels and my soldier comes to attention. It must be that fraction fetish I have-- full bras don't do anything for me but put on a demi cup and I could fill both with my steaming hot manchowder.
Ken!
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Dear Ken!,
I just had my biggest and most embarrassing secret revealed at school. I know this is going to change the way people talk, act, and think around me. I cant tell everyone it isn't true because some know it is true. If i dont do something now its going to ruin the rest of my school year and i dont need this on my back now. I cant ignore what people will say because I cant stand to just sit there and do nothing. I cant tell my parents whats going on because they will freak out. Im so scared and mad at what people think of me now and i just dont know what to do. Please help me.
WH
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Dear Not Creative,
Take him to a farm supply store, have him pick out a bit and some tack, take him home, strip him nekkid and ride your pretty little pony until the cows come home.
Ken!
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Dear Ken!,
im 19,i met this girl about 3 months ago,she lives in southwick ,mass. me and her cousin went to visit her in southwick about 2 and a half months ago,i stayed for about 3 weeks,i fell in love with her,then i had to come back to cincinnati,then i waited 2 weeks and went back to visit her,and fell in love with her even more..when i got back from visiting her the 2nd time,my car broke down and i couldnt get a job anywhere close to make money to see her agian,then she came and visited me about 2 weeks ago in cincy and stayed for a week,but now shes gone and i feel lost without her... i dont know how to make money to be able to get back to be with her,shes all i want,i need her so bad...when i was visting her,i smoked with her brother,and it made me think how i could be with her asap..now whenever i smoke,i wrote down inventions in this book of mine,ive wrote down about 60,but i dunno if any of them have any potential yet... what would you do if you didnt have a car,didnt have a job,wanted to be with your love but didnt know how,didnt have alot of money,had inventions,ready for a drastic change?
RPC
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Dear RPC,
Dude, if I wrote down everything I thought of when I smoked I'd have five years worth of advice columns. And look at where that's gotten me!
Let's consider this situation of yours: you live in Cincinnati. Ohio. You have no job. You apparently have very little else keeping you there. It's not like you own a home, have a wife and kids in school and a mistress with an oral fixation on the side. What have you got to lose? Hop the 'hound to Southwick, Mass. and don't look back. Now's the time to be young and bold (or foolish, depending on how one sees things). If nothing else it'll make a good story for your stoner journal.
Ken!
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