Ask Ken!

Dear Ken!,
Me and my boyfriend have recently had sex for the first time and it didnt turn me on at all. But before we had sex we had dry sex which turned me on loads Is this normal? And what can i do?

Kay-la xxx

Dear Kay-la xxx,

One should never confuse dry humping with first time intercourse. Here’s some analogies to help clarify:

While column "B" contains much cooler activities, they’re also far more harrowing. It’s the kind of stuff that when done– especially the first time– will bring a lump to the throat and cause a person to stop and ponder some of life’s bigger questions. Once the hot, hot monkey lovin’ becomes less foreign and more familiar you’ll find yourself enjoying it far more.

Keep on doin’ it,
Ken!

Dear Ken!,
i have a question on canada, (1700’s) why is lower part of canada higher then upper part of canada? thank you

just wondering

Dear Just Wondering,
If you’d smoked B.C. bud you would know why the lower part of Canada is higher than the upper part.

Ken!

Dear Ken!,
I am very troubled that you are talking about these problems in the Middle East and appear to have no idea about the history of this topic. Today I watched as you spoke down to an orthodox Jews and you had no idea about what he was talking about. To be frank it made you look very stupid and it embarrassed me because I stand by CNN. Please read this report so you can have a little background in the subject for the next time you start ranting. Thanks,

article:
http://www.merip.org/palestine-israel_primer/toc-pal-isr-primer.html

Andrew, Minnesota

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Dear Ken!,
What is the advantages of LCD monitors vs CRT counterparts?

Massoud Aarabi

Dear Massoud,
As someone who has recently switched from a seventeen-inch CRT display to an equally-sized LCD monitor, I was most pleased to discover the amount of desk space I reclaimed. When connected to the computer using the digital video inputs the image quality is without a doubt better than any CRT display. And something about it feels easier on the eyes. The only real drawback, when compared to a CRT, is cost. Good, large CRTs are still hundreds of dollars less. Often times that’s an acceptable trade-off.

Ken!
Dear Ken!,
Have you ever considered having guest editors of your column, guest Ken!s, so to speak? YOU DON”T SEEM ABLE TO KEEP IT UP YOURSELF> AND I CAN”T GET THE CAPS LOCK OFF> GODDAMNED WINDOWS

DO YOU REALLY HAVE ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE THAN THIS COLUMN? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!

Dear DO YOU REALLY HAVE ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE THAN THIS COLUMN? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!,
Once– it seems long ago now– I lived a relatively solitary life. For that, I feel fortunate. Today my life is filled with those of others as well as my own. And for that I feel equally as fortunate. Such a life is not without loss, however. Gone are long stretches of days and nights left free to ponder the nature of the universe… or hot, sweaty nookie. My creativity is channeled in other directions but with the same intent of enlightenment and good humor.

Something wonderful is going to happen….

Ken!

Dear DO YOU REALLY HAVE ANYTHING MORE IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE THAN THIS COLUMN? I THINK NOT!!!!!!!!!,
Once– it seems long ago now– I lived a relatively solitary life. For that, I feel fortunate. Today my life is filled with those of others as well as my own. And for that I feel equally as fortunate. Such a life is not without loss, however. Gone are long stretches of days and nights left free to ponder the nature of the universe… or hot, sweaty nookie. My creativity is channeled in other directions but with the same intent of enlightenment and good humor.

Something wonderful is going to happen….

Ken!
Dear Ken!
To make a long story short…what do you think of casual sex? A guy I’ve hooked up with a few times just e-mailed me and was like, “hey, I know we haven’t talked or hung out in like a year, but my girlfriend just dumped me, so you want me to come and ‘visit’ you?” Mind you, Ken!, we had a failed attempt at dating in the past, we live in different states, and he has two young kids (I don’t plan on having children), so there is no potential at all for a relationship here. Traditional moral values suggest I should be indignant, or even insulted. The problem is, some no-strings (hopefully) action sounds good to me right now. I’m just not sure how to judge whether I’m being used…maybe the key is to make sure things work out on a mutually beneficial basis. I dunno. What do you think?

Jeni

Dear Jeni,
That, my lusty friend, is what’s called a booty call and it is what it is. And I think it sounds like a fine idea.

Ken!